My Girlfriends Are Pirate Elves! 1 Page 3

  To the left of the dark-skinned elf, a small elf standing at about five feet tall, hid behind the dark elf’s arm. She had short, teal colored hair and pointed ears similar to Lilly’s. She was dressed in simple leather clothes, but her eyes glowed with purple light in the shadow of the entrance.

  “Good morning Mr. Song. I’m Agent Starling with the Dimensional Exchange Program. May we come in?” the woman with brown hair smiled.

  “Um, yes,” Jon said without thinking.

  The moment the words left his lips, Agent Starling nearly pushed her way in, the four elves following in tow. Jon tried to collect his thoughts, ready to ask the meaning of this when he watched in disbelief as the tall elf and the dark elf sat on his couch. The shorter elf stood by Lilly as Agent Starling stepped into the kitchen and began the process of brewing some coffee.

  This is it. They’ve come to accuse me of my crimes and threaten legal action. My career and my life are over.

  The coffee machine began to drip as Agent Starling turned and tapped at her tablet. In the living room, Lilly stood with bright eyes while the shorter elf stood slightly behind her with a dour expression. Jon turned his gaze to the two elves on the couch. The dark-skinned one lifted her staff as if she was scanning the room. The other leaned back into the comfortable couch, lifting her bare, webbed feet and placing them on the coffee table.

  Jon fought his inner urges to yell like a mad man. Instead, he simply asked, “Can I get anyone anything?”

  “We’re okay,” Lilly smiled.

  The others said nothing once Lilly spoke for them.

  Agent Starling poured coffee into two cups. “Do you take sugar and milk?” She called from the kitchen.

  “Black,” Jon said out loud.

  Like my future prospects.

  Agent Starling nodded and put the coffee pot back in the machine. Placing her tablet under her arm, she lifted two cups of coffee, strode into the living room and handed one to the strangely silent young man who appeared to still be processing what was happening.

  “I know this is a little strange to meet so early in the morning, but time waits for no one,” Agent Starling said as she picked up her tablet with one hand and tapped at the side of the screen with her thumb.

  Jon blinked.

  Agent Starling continued, “As I said, I’m from the Dimensional Exchange Program, DEP for short. We ensure all long-term visitors from the Aquris dimension are suitably placed in safe and caring environments. Captain Lilliana Silk has put in her application for her and her crew to stay with you for an unspecified length of time.”

  Jon’s jaw dropped.

  Agent Starling didn’t look up from her tablet as she continued, “Under the application and the contract, you have agreed to house, care, and teach our visitors from their dimension so they may have a starting chance of living a new life in our world. We understand the process may be long and involved since cultures are very different.

  “Once they have a better understanding of our world, they will be able to move on or stay with you, whichever choice is agreed upon by all those present. Do you understand so far?”

  Jon’s mouth hung open, the words unable to form.

  Agent Starling took a long sip of her coffee before placing it on the nearby table and began tapping at the tablet. “Due to the romantic nature of the relationship, everything should be processed very quickly.”

  Jon’s brow went up. “What? What is happening here? I know Lilly, but I don’t know who any of these three are. I don’t even know who you are? It’s the crack of dawn and you all show up telling me that I have agreed to be part of some space program?”

  Agent Starling’s blank gaze never changed. “I can understand how jarring the exchange program can be. Take solace that many people have a difficult time with it at first, but you will soon understand with a little time. I did skip over introductions, so we will begin before you sign.

  “You know Captain Lilliana Silk of the Dark Heart. The smaller elf behind her is Cora Lufina, Cabin Mate. The tall one on the couch is Zelda Bloodlicker, First Mate to Captain Silk. The one with the staff is Syndra Dreadwater…” Agent Starling said as her eyes narrowed looking at the tablet.

  “…Sea Witch,” Syndra said out loud.

  Agent Starling nodded. “Yes, Sea Witch.”

  Jon’s expression hardened. “This isn’t about introductions. I have no idea what is happening right now! What romantic relationship? I don’t understand.”

  Agent Starling looked up and stared into Jon’s eyes. “Captain Silk informed me of your romantic involvement. She agreed to be part of the program if her crew could live with the two of you. I cannot express how wonderful it is that you want to take on visitors from their world. Our program is in its fledgling state, but this placement will help everyone involved.”

  Jon put down his coffee and rubbed his temples. “What romantic involvement?”

  Agent Starling blinked. “Did you not kiss yesterday during your inspection of the Dark Heart?”

  Color drained from Jon’s face. “I… I…”

  “It was an amazing kiss. He was so forward and I loved it,” Lilly smiled with innocent eyes.

  Agent Starling nodded.

  Jon wanted to shake his head, but couldn’t do it.

  Agent Starling spoke up, “If this isn’t what truly happened, I will have to speak to your supervisors again.”

  It was Jon’s turn to blink, “Speak to them again?”

  Agent Starling nodded. “I spoke to them over an hour ago. I had to confirm Lilliana’s side of events. They told me that you were indeed the inspector of the Dark Heart yesterday. I informed them what was happening with the DEP application and they were nice enough to give you the next few days off so you can adjust to your new situation.

  “The only thing we have left is your signature. I’ll send informative documents to you and come up with a schedule when I can visit to make sure it is a painless transition. I’m sure everyone is excited to begin learning more of our world and your records indicate you would be an excellent choice for the program.”

  “Darling, this is our dream,” Lilly winked from behind Agent Starling.

  The agent held out her tablet, “Please, sign here.”

  Shock filled every cell of Jon’s body. He peered down at the screen, a line waiting for his signature. Heart thudding in his chest, manic thoughts spiraled. If he didn’t sign, Lilly could say she was manipulated and he would lose his job. If he did sign, he would have four elves living in his home and integrating with society. The insanity of the moment gripped him, unsure what to do.

  Jon glanced up to see Lilly smiling, but her eyes contained a pleading edge. It was slight, barely noticeable, but it was enough. Heartbeat slowing, Jon lifted his finger and ran it along the smooth, tablet surface. When he was finished, his electronic signature glowed.

  Agent Starling turned the tablet to her, eyed the signature and nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Song. This is now in order. You should receive some e-mails with further information. Give me a few hours. Enjoy your next few days together.”

  Jon stood like a living statue as Agent Starling bid everyone a quick farewell, walked to the door and stepped out, closing it behind her.

  The tall blue-skinned elf let her head fall back into the couch, “Thank the goddess that’s over!”

  Lilly visibly relaxed, letting out a long exhale.

  Syndra stood up and began walking around, eyeing everything and moving on.

  Jon simply stood, his mind and heart blasted to glass from shock.

  Cora stepped away, moving to the couch and sitting down quietly. Zelda was up, joining Syndra on inspecting the place.

  Lilly stepped forward, placed her arms on Jon’s shoulders and peered into his wide eyes. “You were wonderful,” she said with a sultry tone.

  “I… I don’t understand what just happened,” Jon stuttered.

  “You agreed for all of us to live together as one, big happy family. I knew it was ri
ght the moment we kissed.”

  Jon’s shock bled away to subdued anger. “You… planned this? Oh, and to be clear, you kissed me.”

  Lilly smiled. “Not all of it. We did want to stay in your world, but when our lips touched, I knew it was fate.”

  Zelda stepped closer, crossing her arms against her stomach. “I don’t see why he’s so special.”

  Lilly pulled back, “Kiss him and you’ll feel it too.”

  Zelda stepped closer. Jon’s hands went up, but before he could react any further, a webbed hand grabbed his shirt and pulled him close. Jon looked up at Zelda’s razor grin as she towered over him. The scent of sea water filled his nose as he was inches away from her sharp mouth.

  Syndra shook her head. “You can’t tell by a kiss. You have to touch his soul,” the sea witch stated.

  “Should I try through the ribcage?” Zelda said with an evil grin.

  “She said touch his soul, not rip out his heart,” Lilly corrected.

  “It’s the same thing,” Zelda said as she raised a smooth eyebrow.

  “I should have a say in this,” Jon stated.

  Lilly closed her eyes and shook her head. “Zelda, let go of him.”

  Zelda’s expression saddened before she let go of Jon’s collar and stepped back.

  Lilly stepped closer to Jon, “Zelda is a sweetheart, once she gets to know you.”

  “I need an explanation!” Jon slowly fumed.

  Lilly nodded. “We wanted to stay here on Urth. When we kissed, I felt something amazing. Didn’t you feel it too?”

  Jon rubbed the back of his head. He wanted to deny it, but deep down, he couldn’t. The kiss haunted him and he would be lying to himself if he didn’t feel the same thing.

  Lilly eyed the confused man before turning her attention to the sea witch. “Syndra, our effects.”

  The dark-skinned elf nodded before raising her staff. A mystical incantation spilled from her lips until the very air vibrated. When the staff came down and touched the floor, energy exploded.

  Jon’s eyes filled with flashbulbs. He began blinking and as the flashes melted away, a large, sack-like suitcase was on the kitchen table.

  Lilly stepped over to the table and opened the bag. Her hands rifled through it until she took hold and lifted up a triangular hat. The Captain put the hat on her head and turned around with a smirk.

  Jon stared at the hat, seeing the small symbol of skull and crossbones, except the skull had pointed ears. It didn’t take longer than a second for Jon to understand the meaning of it.

  “You’re not traders. You’re pirates!” Jon nearly shouted.

  Zelda rolled her eyes. “I thought you said he was smart, not just observant.”

  Lilly sauntered closer to Jon, “He’s smart, even if he is a little innocent.”

  Jon backed up. “The cargo, you stole it and sold it here at port. You changed the documents. Why? Why do all of this?”

  “To stay here on Urth, why else?” Lilly said with cool eyes.

  Jon shook his head. “I… have to report this.”

  Lilly reached up and ran a finger along Jon’s chin. “I wouldn’t do that. Harboring criminals will surely land you in one of your prisons. No one here wants that, do we?”

  Zelda lowered her head and shook it. Syndra shook her head from the side of the kitchen table. Cora simply sat on the couch, watching everything as it happened.

  “You can’t stay,” Jon said with an edge.

  Lilly’s expression changed to a dash of seriousness, “We are reformed pirates, if that will help you sleep at night. We have mended our wicked ways and we seek a better life, here on Urth. You are our chance to become better people and start over again. I knew it the moment our lips touched.”

  “But the hat?” Jon said as he looked up at the pointy eared skull and crossbones.

  “The hat stays. We will just say I am one of your cosplayers. So many people here love our world. They won’t bat an eye to it,” Lilly’s tone smooth as silk.

  “This is madness,” Jon whispered.

  “No, this is home,” Lilly corrected before kissing him on the cheek.

  Jon stood, looking at the beautiful elf pirate. His heart beat with one half defeat, and the other half with some strange excitement.

  Anything I try to do will be countered by their intentions and the circumstances. Despite the hat and their less than honest appearance, there must be something more than simply staying with me for a better life. It’s my civic duty to root out any nefarious plans and do my part to stop them. Lilly may think she has me right where she wants me, but she doesn’t know who I am.

  Syndra glanced around before craning her neck to a small hallway by the kitchen. “Is this the only floor to our home?”

  A vein throbbed along Jon’s temple, “There is a second floor with some bedrooms and so we are clear, this is my home and you’re simply visiting.”

  Syndra closed her eyes and shook her head. “That’s no way to treat your Shullkar.”

  Jon raised an eyebrow, “Shullkar?”

  “He doesn’t know our ways and may not understand,” Lilly said as she moved to the bag on the table and rummaged through it.

  “This is going to be interesting, in a bad way,” Zelda rolled her eyes.

  “Not with that attitude,” Lilly said as she continued to rummage.

  Zelda looked at Lilly, “He doesn’t even know what a Shullkar is.”

  “What’s a Shullkar?” Jon asked louder since it seemed no one was listening to him.

  Lilly turned around with a pistol in one hand and a belt with dimly glowing shells in the other.

  Jon looked down at the pistol in disbelief. Runes covered the strange, single barreled pistol. It almost looked like a tiny, single barrel shotgun. Lilly clicked it open, checking the barrel before inserting a single shell into the end and snapping it shut. Hand gliding to her side, she slipped the pistol into a thigh holster and clipped a leather strap over it, securing it to her leg.

  “You can’t have weapons here,” Jon stated.

  Lilly lifted her hands, palms out at her shoulder height. “Do not concern yourself. It’s my special weapon and it’s filled with magical, non-lethal spell shells. It’s just a precaution.”

  “A precaution against what?”

  Lilly smirked. “You did mention that crime has been up in the city. We can never be too careful. Besides, it’s our duty to protect each other since we are in this together.”

  Lilly leaned back against the table edge with liquid ease, “As for what Shullkar means, it means… um… a friend of girls… or… bonding.”

  Jon lifted an eyebrow, “Girlfriend? You’re my girlfriend?”

  Zelda stepped closer and looked on Jon with a razor smile. “We are all your girlfriends and you’re our… man friend.”

  “Boyfriend. He’s our boyfriend,” Lilly smiled.

  Jon shook his head. “This is getting more and more bizarre. I was railroaded into allowing you all to stay here and we are all together as well?”

  “My crew, my rules. If I’m seeing someone, they see them too. It’s really that simple,” Lilly said plainly.

  Jon took in a deep inhale and let out a long exhale. “I think I need some air or my head will explode. I know there isn’t enough food here for the five of us so I need to go to the store. Can I leave you all here and not come back to the place burning down?”

  Zelda gave a not so confident side glance. Syndra leaned against a wall, staff in hand and silent. Cora remained on the couch, watching everything but not saying a word.

  Lilly grinned. “We will ensure our home is standing until your return.”

  Jon barely gave a nod. “After I get back, I’ll show you your rooms and we can discuss house rules.”

  “Zelda will join you,” Lilly added.

  The tall blue elf was about to move to Jon’s side when he held up his hand, palm out.

  “No. No. I’ll be fine. I just need to go down the block and pick up a
few things for the next day or two. The last thing I want to do is explain a seven-foot-tall elf to Mario.”

  “Would this Mario not approve?” Lilly asked.

  Jon sighed. “It’s not that. It’s… just complicated right now. Before I leave, what do you all like to eat?”

  “Seaweed, fish and rice,” Syndra blurted out.

  Zelda grinned. “Meat. The bloodier, the better.”

  Jon looked away from the grinning tall elf to the smaller elf on the couch. “Cora?”

  “The same as Syndra. We would all like seaweed, fish and rice,” Lilly said.

  Jon nodded. “I think I have an idea on what to get. I’m going to go now. I’m going to ask again, please, everyone, just stay in this room. I should be back in thirty minutes.”

  Jon stepped to the door and opened it. He gave one long glance back to the elven women in his home, his inner world sighing in regret. The elves gave him a disarming smile, except for Zelda who looked like she wanted to eat him alive.

  Looking forward, he stepped out and closed the door behind himself.

  The moment the door closed, all four women relaxed.

  “He doesn’t seem to like us,” Syndra said as she moved to the kitchen table and sat down in a chair.

  “He has to get used to us, that’s all,” Lilly said with a comforting tone.

  “I didn’t smell any fear from him,” Zelda added, “But, I do smell something else I never experienced before.”

  Lilly nodded. “It’s that spirit I felt when we kissed. He’s special. We would still be on the ship if he didn’t walk into our lives. Fate brought us together and we have to follow it to the end.”

  “He’s handsome,” Cora said in a small voice.

  “I’ll admit, he’s easy on the senses, but I don’t think he likes us,” Zelda said with a less than confident tone.

  Lilly looked over to Syndra, “Your thoughts?”

  “The spirit world is attracted to him from what I can feel. As for my personal thoughts, I can give a better answer after I taste him,” the dark elf said matter of fact.